I initially started in on this incase I was asked what will I be taking away and since I aint to good at expressing talkin straight outta my mind, I decided to write it down.  Then I thought, after writing it therez no way I’d manage to pull off reading it.  I still don’t know what I’m actually doing and am trying to say.  But I just want you all to know, before I came, I don’t even know actually why I attended.  Perhaps it was for something different whether it was gods purpose I didn’t exactly know.  I was pretty much like whatever.  Whatever is what I bring.  My confidence in myself and in other people, in life, and in good even in God was trampled in the dirt, daily walked upon where I thought it would remain, where it would stay buried couldn’t get it outta the dirt, pick it up, and dust it off.  So far gone I seen nothing no beauty, no hope, no future, nothing good in the world, no star that shined so bright.  I let it ruin me, it even about probably even ruined the only friendship person who’s ever actually given me a chance.  I seen ughyness in everything gave nothing a chance, just went rite on to ruining it whatever it was with my bad attitude and bad energy.  I ask myself now where do I go from here when the only person, beauty in my life is quite possibly gone when the only (people) who were able to help me see a different side were just a passing glance.  Not enough time.  It’s hard to see the positive (you all) tore my heart apart with your love and kindness, but it was a good torn apart.  This way I can rebuild, put in place where it was hard, put soft where there was pain put healing love where there was hate, restore it with all the hope you all given me.  What Gods given me thru all of you.  I know it’s still gunna be hard with the every day environment no one around to help me keep seeing it, but just guess I’d have to make it a habit with God’s help you everyones memory, this experience.  I take away knowing that the lifes not perfect, sometimes painful but living it loving it, is sure better than suffering in the ugleness the devil never wants us to except an ugleness of doubt pain suffering and fear, but with Gods help, with people like you, there is hope.  I wondered why you people ever wasted your time, now I know why!!  I thought what could this bunch of old people teach me.  What everyone taught me was far more than I could ever imagine.  And though your life’s story ain’t exactly like mine your pains were, and if you can choose to pick yourselfs out of the dirt, dust yourselves off, carry on, still love, still trust, then so I must!  I can and thanks to you , part of Gods people, I can and will.

Thanks for a new beginning.

Nick